Eric went out of town this weekend for his bachelor party so I caught up on some much needed girl time.

I invited a few girls over to watch the Miss America pageant because judging is much easier to do in groups. Plus, I didn’t want to drink alone. I love the Miss America Pageant because it incorporates every girly thing I love like hair, makeup, clothes, and Vaseline on my teeth. I feel like it’s okay to judge them because I actually have a ton of respect for those pageant girls. It takes a lot of dedication and hard work to prepare for something like that. I’m completely jealous of them and how much hairspray they get to wear. However, the biggest disappointment of the night was the evening gown portion of the competition. Dress cut outs, enormous shoulder bows, and strategically placed sequins are not okay.

Be different by being classy, ladies. You don’t need a bow the size of Texas on you shoulder to stand out.

This reminds me, Mom, I’m still mad at you for not making me a child pageant star. Life would be so much easier if I had learned to wave with my elbow and wrist instead of with just my hands.

Miss Wisconsin took the crown last night, but she forgot to wear waterproof mascara. Poor thing looked like a drunk girl stumbling down the street.

Just another all-American girl.