One of the saddest parts about getting married is the moment you realize that you’re not supposed to ask your dad to fix your flat tire anymore – you’re supposed to ask your husband. The first time I knew this whole “daddy to husband” thing wasn’t going to be an easy transition was the first time it snowed heavily last year, and I was living with Eric. Every time it has snowed my whole life, my dad would warm up my car, scrape off the ice on the windshields, shovel the snow under my tires so I didn’t get stuck, and put a warm cup of coffee in the cup holder so it was waiting for me when I woke up. The first time it snowed when I lived with Eric, I woke up and just sat in my car fuming until the snow melted off the outside of the car. Then I got stuck in the middle of the street with my tires spinning. I was furious.

Of course it wasn’t Eric’s fault. At that point in our relationship I was still trying to impress him and not show him how much of a spoiled brat I really am, so he wasn’t totally aware of all my needs. This incident really blew my cover. I called Eric crying and upset with him for not automatically knowing that I don’t shovel anything. It’s not that Eric won’t do all these things for me, it’s just that I still like asking my dad to do it, and I’m not totally ready to give that up. Honestly, it’s kind of the way Daddy and I tell each other that we love each other.

“Dad, I need gas.” (Translation: I love you)

“I already put gas in your car while you were napping and I cleaned it for you too.” (Translation: I love you too)

So I text my dad this weekend after Eric put air in my tires and put some oil in my car and said, “Apparently, I’m supposed to ask my husband to do these things now.” He replied, “I think thats a wonderful thing. You can still ask your daddy when you need to though. Love you.”

Ouch. I felt like I had just broken up with my father and it hurt like hell. I mean, sure, maybe the real issue here is that I never learned how to take care of myself and I rely on men to take care of me, but whatever.

Someone needs to pay for my gas.