When I was growing up, we had the perfect family dog. She was a Golden Retriever and her name was Queenie. I miss her terribly. Queenie was very calm, loving, and protected us girls when we were kids. She was so gentle, and she always did what she was told.

My pets are nothing like her.

As I am writing this blog right now, Tippy is laying next to me drooling on the carpet (he has a swallowing problem), Ridley is batting Tippy in the face with her soft but dangerous paws, and Toby is trying to eat Ridley.

Welcome to my life.

I love my pets more than anything, but the honeymoon phase with Eric quickly turned into an old married couple with 3 children when we got 3 pets. Eric already had Ridley, our cat, when I met him. I already had Tippy, our slightly mentally challenged dog, when I met Eric. Then we decided to get Toby, our hyperactive puppy, together.

Tippy is my soul mate. He is a Chow-Chow/Gold Retriever mix, and I adopted him from a shelter in Iowa City when he was 9 years old. When I met him, I knew immediately he was the one. Tippy is a lot like me, just dumb and happy. Everyone says that nothing is going on inside his head, but I disagree. He is thinking, “Mom! Hey Mom!! Mom look over here! MOM! Hey Mom!! Mom I pooped downstairs! Mom!”

We just get each other.

Ridley is our sweet, but sassy cat. Compared to the dogs, she is our angel. She is super cuddly and she doesn’t ask for a lot, except for the occasional neck rub. However, she can be extremely sassy with her brothers. Her favorite activity is running up to them, slapping them in the face, and then running away.

Siblings.

Toby is our 6 month old puppy. Eric and I both had pets before we met, but we wanted a pet that was completely our own that we could raise together. Then fate stepped in. Marley and Me was playing on TBS one night and I watched it. When Eric walked into the bedroom at the end of the movie and found me on the floor bawling my eyes out spooning Tippy, he knew something had to happen. The next week we got Toby, a Lab Retriever mix. Toby doesn’t sit still, and he walks around the house biting the air until something lands in his mouth. Could be anything. His sister, the couch, a wall. It doesn’t matter. He will eat it. We knew that Tippy was getting older so we thought we would only have 3 pets for a short amount of time.

After we got Toby, we took Tippy to the vet and they told us he was actually 3 years old. Not 11.

So here we are, family of 5, revolving our lives around pooping and eating schedules.

Damn you, Marley and Me.